“dear younger self, you’ve always been enough.”
Firstly, I want to say that you won’t be known as the “Jolly Green Giant” for the rest of your life, despite what you believe to be true at the moment. Mainly because you won’t be at that school for too much longer. Also, there will come a time when you won’t have to be in the back row of all the class pictures because you’re tall; your friends will catch up with you in height!
Never worry about being lonely as an only child, you’ve have loads of friends, the house is always bustling with people so you’re never really alone. As you grow up though you will have to learn to like your own company, but on some occasions relish having time completely to yourself, because after all you’re very adept at amusing yourself. You have to be.
The Christmas you turn 10 will be a bit of a strange one; with nan being drafted in at the last minute to look after and cook dinner for you and mum and dad, but just go with it. It’s exciting having to sleep on the Z bed and share the room with your nan. Mum will eventually be well and you will be able to share some amazingly happy times with her. It’s just a bit of a slog at the moment, especially when dad has to be both mum and dad for you. Please don’t worry, all these experiences will make shape you into the resilient caring person you become, that can deal with all sorts of ‘life crap’.
There will be lots of snow on the ground around your birthday and Christmas; and the giant-assed snowballs you make at your birthday party with your friends on the South Downs will eventually melt, although they will be a talking point for residents of the road for a while though!
You will eventually find out who shot JR in Dallas, but the sticker you got on holiday that summer might allude to you being the perpetrator, but trust me it’s a TV series, so it definitely wasn’t you.
The kitten you got in the summer will be around or a long time, in fact she’ll be almost 20 when she goes to animal heaven, and she will pave the way to lots more pets in your life. Including dogs, which you currently have to get you fix of with Grandad’s dog Shelly.
Talking of grandad he will be around for another 14 years, right up, in fact, until the time you have your first daughter. He won’t get to see her, but you know he’s looking down and watching out for you.
Stick to your colouring, drawing, baking and all things creative, they will not only help you with your chosen career in marketing; but they will also come into their own when, in years to come, you have to make an angel costume overnight because your youngest daughter forgot to mention that she was the angel in the nativity play the following day! And just so you know work were fine about you leaving a bit early to source emergency fabric, tinsel and wire etc.!
Despite all that they go through this year, your folks won’t stay together. It’s a bit rubbish, but at the end of the day you will see things the only way you know how – it is what it is – and that phrase will set you in good stead for your life; and one that you trot out often! You will have a new stepdad but not for a while and as you grow up you will see that your parents are far better as friends to each other than as a married couple. Don’t let that cloud your judgement for your own happiness in years to come.
At the moment boys are the devil, but trust me that won’t always be the case. You’ll, of course, kiss some absolute frogs on the way, but you meet and marry the man of your dreams fairly early on and have two wonderful successful daughters, but that’s all way off for the moment.
Being 10 is a tricky age; you’re a weird tall, boyish looking girl with a mop of mousey hair, but don’t worry about all that because once you find make up and fashion there will be no stopping you! And the rest – as they say – will be history.
Trust me Sar, you’ve got this.
The idea of writing a letter to my 10 year old self came from an item that Scott Mills and Chris Stark did on their Radio 1 afternoon show on the BBC in the UK during Lockdown. You wouldn’t believe something so simple could be so cathartic, but it genuinely is. Give it a go yourself, although you don’t have to share it with the world as I have done of course!